"Sure, global warming, whatever. But let's talk about how people just don't clean up after their dogs properly…"
"Sure, global warming, whatever. But let's talk about how people just don't clean up after their dogs properly…" Photo: Ian Waldie


It's been a storied few days for lovers of quality statesmanship



You know, it's just barely possible that this weekend was the
moment when the world, as one, looked at Tony Abbott and went "…um,
why's this guy talking?"





It started on a high note
when your PM and Minister for Aboriginal Affairs announced to British
PM David Cameron (twice!) that "It's hard to think that back in 1788 it
was nothing but bush and that the marines and the convicts and the
sailors that straggled off those 12 ships … must have thought they had
come to the moon."




It's an interesting statement for a bunch of reasons,
starting with their apparent familiarity with the rich eucalypt forest
and scrubland of the type that covers the lunar surface.




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That magnificent sense of what might be the best thing to say
at an international high-level political conference got even better as
your PM took the opportunity to bitch about how Australians don't want to pay an arbitrary fee increase to see a doctor.




"For a long time most Australians who went to see a doctor
have been seen at no charge and we would like to see a $7 co-payment for
people who are going to see the doctor," he said, to a room full of
people to whom this information was neither relevant nor especially
appropriate. "It is proving to be massively difficult to get this
particular reform through the Parliament."




Awwww, diddums! People don't want to pay a tax
designed to make them see their doctors less! Don't talk about climate
change or human rights, Tone, have a little whinge about how you're not
able to pass bad policy.




Barack Obama, conversely, popped over to the University of Queensland to talk about things like climate change, the international response to Ebola and addressing global poverty:
you know, the sorts of things that you might think a world leader might
consider discussing at, say, an international meeting of world leaders.




But Tony did boast about how his government eliminated the carbon tax. So, y'know, that's good. 



Speaking of the thing we mustn't speak about …



it was very good of the Brisbane weather to decide that if
the government weren't going to talk about climate change then it was
going to take matters into its own hands by giving the delegates a
weekend almost 10 degrees above average for this time of year, while
ensuring that the PM was given updates about the unseasonally early
bushfires that were roaring out of control through the Blue Mountains. 




It's also great timing: not only was the ink barely dry on the US-China emissions trading deal, but even Tones' BFF David Cameron
said: "Countries that have so far done the least have to think about
what more they can do. I've had good and friendly discussions with Prime
Minister Abbott about that."




And hopefully Tone had a chance to catch up with Indian PM
Narendra Modi, who might mention to him that India's Power and Coal
Minister Piyush Goyal has just outlined India's plan to stop importing coal in the next "two to three years"




So yep: the government's really captured the international
mood on the subject of energy policy and climate change response. We
really look pretty cool and grown up right now.




Literally, no



Poor Redfoo. All he wanted to do was sing a fun little song
about telling women to shut up, and now everyone's accusing him of
sexism and calling for him to sacked as a mentor on The X Factor




Fortunately he decided to speak up for the real victim of 'Literally I Can't': himself. 



"It was a symbol of a negative person that came to crash the
party," he whined on Kiiss FM on Friday. "It could've been woman or male
or anything, any sexual orientation."




Really? Male or woman, huh? Even the bit telling them to do some girl-on-girl? 



On his Facebook, he did that most charming of retorts: the
non-pology, aka the "If I offended you, I'm sorry that you feel that way
for whatever weird reason you have".




"I get excited to create things that will unite all of us
through laughter, dance & celebration," he or perhaps a work
experience intern wrote in the post on Thursday. "If during that process
I offend anyone, I apologize from the bottom of my heart."




Stefan "Redfoo" Gordy, by the way, is a 39-year-old adult.



Incidentally, it's entirely possible to write a party song
without feeling you have to tell women to shut up. Here's Sydney's the
Stiffys with their version of the song, minus the disrespect and
including awesome jumpsuits.




 



C'mon Party people!



The Palmer United Party have been asked to back the
Democratic Labor Party's High Court challenge against former senator
John Madigan, who resigned from the party and now sits as an
independent. 




What the DLP would like would be Madigan to hand the seat
back to the party in order for them to replace him, the argument being
that people voted for the party rather than the man. Madigan, naturally,
feels that it was the man who got voted in, not the party, and has no
intention of resigning. 




And since the reality is that no one voted for either, and
Madigan's presence in the Senate is the result of randomness within the
chaotic maelstrom of microparty preference deals, they're going to let the High Court decide who actually owns a Senate seat




The outcome has obvious interest to PUP in the wake of the
increasingly likely departure of Jacqui Lambie from the party, who has
refused to sack her chief of staff Rob Messenger.




Messenger has been expelled from the party, and Lambie has responded with the bizarre announcement that
"I've requested that all my staff not be members of any political
party. I want a non-political office and Mr Palmer's confirmation that
Mr Messenger is no longer a member of the Palmer United Party saves him
the trouble of resigning." Because why would you want political
affiliations in a political office in politics? That sounds crazy!




Meanwhile Bob Day is trying to convince Lambie to come join him and Liberal Democract Senator David Leyonhjelm as a special voting bloc.
A staunch liberatarian, an evangelical, and an super right-winger who
fears Islam: sounds like the basis for a hilarious new situation comedy,
although possibly a rather less hilarious new balance of power.     




The cocktail hour: what's as thrilling as a high-level diplomatic meeting?



In case the excitement has been too much for you, here's a nice metaphor for Australia's climate change progress.



Live the adventure, friends, and cheers!